It must be spring! I spent this morning working in my flower beds. You know what that means? Yep! Conversations with God. While I tug on the weeds around my flowers and bushes, God tugs on the weeds in my mind and my heart. I usually start the talking, but it always ends up that I start listening and talking less. Always a good thing!
I started thinking about my grand-daughter's new glasses this morning. I am not a life-long wearer of these sometimes frustrating (ok...for me, they are often annoying) spectacles that sit on my nose. They annoy me because I need them. I don't like that I can't see like I used to. I really don't like that they move around. Just when I'm really into a project, they slide up (or down) my nose, and I totally lose focus on whatever it is that I really need to see at that point. All that aside, I was wondering how my little lovely is doing with her new specs. She looks really cute in them, but I know that sometimes it's hard to make the change. They rub on your nose and make it sore. They poke at you when you forget and try to lie down with them on. She needs them not because she can't see, but because one eye is stronger than the other and is trying to help the weaker eye. Taking over, if you will. The weaker eye just keeps getting weaker, while stronger eye gains strength.
As I was contemplating my grand-daughters sight, God reminded me of a conversation I had with my son a short while back. He was telling me about a conversation he had had with his father several years back when he was in college. At the time, our son was enrolled in 18 hours of chemical engineering classes and working at least 30 hours at a jewelry store. Although he was managing both, he was doing so with some difficulty and approached my husband about helping out more financially. We've always told our kids that we're there for them, so imagine my son's surprise when his father told him, "I could help, but I'm not going to." My son was angry and frustrated. It was one of those "How come? That's not fair!" moments.
Fast forward to our recent conversation. My son expressed to me that although he had harbored some bitterness, that as he has matured and now has children of his own, he understands how that moment of surprise forced him to grow and has helped him become more responsible and more appreciative of his abilities and his blessings. His perspective has changed. He has come to realize that our decision not to help was probably just as difficult for us as it was for him. It was however, a decision that ultimately made him into a better person.
Our job as parents is to allow our children to make their own decisions and to learn how to solve their own problems. Sometimes that's not easy for either one of us. I'm sure it's the same way with God. Most of the time, I can visualize him shaking his head at me and saying, "Really? Again??" Then, there are the times He just gives out a big old belly laugh as I muddle through life. In the end, I know he's waiting with open arms for that hug only He understands I need.
Life is full of choices. We usually don't see things in exactly the same way another person does. We're on different parts of the path with different histories along the journey. The thing is though, I know that I need look at life with God glasses. I need to be careful that I don't let the "world" eye take over the "God" eye. Using my natural eyes, the world is fuzzy. Putting on my glasses helps considerably, but I still have issues. I've had to train my eye to look through the bifocal to read. If my eye strays past the perimeter of the lens, my vision is once again blurred. God sees the world with perfect vision. We are His children. He understands our need to struggle a bit. He knows our gifts, our hearts, and even what will be the stones in our path. He loves us in spite of ourselves. I know I will never see with perfect God eyes, but I can get out that little spray bottle and the special little cloth and wipe mine off a little more often. My strong (tenacious) eye needs to not take over and my God eye needs to become stronger. I will become a better person when I can see with clearer vision.
Blessings of:
- Being outside digging in the dirt again.
- Changes in perspective as we journey down the path and grow in God's wisdom and grace.
- Sons who make me proud.
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